2 years after legal firestorm, marriage counselor gives

thanks to God

   VANCOUVER, Wash. — Life is busy and rewarding these days for Bob Whiddon Jr., but significantly calmer than a couple of years ago, and he thanks God for it.
    The founder and executive director of the Vancouver-based Northwest Marriage Institute, Whiddon survived a firestorm of national media attention that developed because of an unexpected legal battle targeting him and his agency.
   “Everyone in the world wanted to talk to me,” he recalled. “TV stations, radio stations, Ted Koppel’s group (at ABC News), newspapers. They seemed hungry to crucify me in public because of the allegations against me.”
    In March, the faith-based institute quietly marked the two-year anniversary of its victory in a federal lawsuit that sought to disable its efforts in marriage education. Americans United for Separation of Church and State filed the suit, accusing Whiddon of using federal funds to promote Christianity. At issue were three grants totaling $1.35 million over a five-year period.
    The court found that none of the accusations were true and issued a summary judgment in favor of the institute. According to the court, a religious organization such as Northwest Marriage Institute, which provides resources and counseling to support healthy marriages, serves as a benefit to society regardless of religious affiliation.
    Whiddon vividly recalls both the moment in September 2006 that he learned about the lawsuit, and six months later when he found out he had won an emotionally draining legal battle.
   “I remember finding out about the lawsuit from a radio news reporter who I thought was interviewing me in general about faith-based groups winning federal grants,” he said. “I remember that day, September 12, 2006. About 10 minutes into the interview, he said, ‘Oh, by the way, did you know you are being sued?” I hung up on him after I heard the news. Immediately the phone rang again and it was The New York Times. I answered a couple of questions. Then I thought that I should probably get some legal advice.
“I don’t remember the last questions she asked me, but I said ‘no comment,’ which made me seem guilty.”
    Whiddon, a former Church of Christ pastor who holds doctorates in both Biblical counseling and pastoral ministry, was quickly contacted by Alliance Defense Fund, a Christian legal defense group associated with Focus on the Family. ADF offered to defend him and the institute, as the case dealt with a Christian’s right as an American citizen to apply for and receive federal grant funds for non-religious community service. According to Whiddon, ADF took the case because it was increasingly apparent that he and his agency were targeted simply because he was a Christian.
    There were two other defendants in the suit against the institute — Mike Leavitt, secretary of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services from which the institute received two of the three grants, and The Institute for Youth Development in Sterling, Va., an intermediary group that funded one of the institute’s grants.
    Whiddon’s lawyers advised him to fully disclose all materials requested by Americans United during the discovery phase.
   “It was hell,” he said. “They wanted all of our financial books, every e-mail I had ever written that dealt with the grant, any curriculum that I had written before or after receiving the grant.
   “I never put so much trust in God as I did during that six-month ordeal. I knew I hadn’t done anything wrong. But I still stressed a lot. People thought that the amounts of the grants were all for me. But very little of those funds were for salary. And even then it was threatened. But I trusted in God even more.”
    Two days before depositions were to be taken, Whiddon was rear-ended on the freeway and had to be taken out of his pickup truck by firemen and rushed to the hospital. He was in great pain during the eight hours of depositions.
   “I answered all the questions honestly and without fear,” he said. “I thought it went well. But afterward, more requests for memos, letters, whatever else Americans United wanted. There was also another round of newspeople calling me after the documents from the deposition were made public.”
    At one point it appeared that it might take months for the court to rule, and the prolonged uncertainty was very wearing for Whiddon.
   “I resigned myself to the fact I would limp along for another few months,” he said. “I lived the Bible verse ‘pray without ceasing.’ ’’
    But on March 20, 2007, an ADF lawyer phoned Whiddon with the good news about the legal victory.
   “I had to put down the phone because I was crying like a baby,” Whiddon said. “I did remember to thank God that moment. It was He who gave me the victory.”
    Interestingly, he said, there were no calls from the secular TV or radio stations or newspapers afterward.
   “It’s not news when a Christian is found innocent of false charges, I guess,” said Whiddon. “I guess the only noise we heard after we won was from Barry Lynn, head of Americans United, who sent out a press release that said I had sold out for 30 pieces of government silver.”
    Since that time the Northwest Marriage Institute has quietly built up one of the most successful healthy marriage programs in the government’s Healthy Marriage Initiative. In just a little more than two years since winning the lawsuit, Whiddon has taught more than 1,200 couples successful principles for healthy marriages. In fact, the institute is one of three or four healthy marriage grantees in the nation that have been picked by the Administration for Children and Families —under the Health and Human Services oversight — to send other grantees to observe and learn what makes their program so successful.
   “We give all the glory to God,” said Whiddon. “I am stronger because God lifted me up after I was thrown down. My wife and I are closer because we shared this godly experience. And I have found that my enemies are not so great because my God is greater.”
    Whiddon and the institute are in the third year of the five-year grant. When the federal funds end in September 2011 he would like to continue his work— providing free marriage workshops, teaching successful principles for healthy marriages, especially to those who can’t afford $300 and $400 marriage workshops and seminars. For more information or to donate, go to www.northwestmarriage.org.